Read about La Bruja of the Cross Bronx Expressway

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sorry for all the spelling errors!

Hello everyone,

     I am sorry there were so many mispellings in my post earlier today. I was feeling really bummed out about my writing in general and I was desperate to get my feelings out. But the post I sent you all was sloppy. I'm sorry.
     I've been a little depressed lately, but that's no excuse. I should have spell checked my work and not posted something in the heat of the moment. On the bright side I'm felling better and ready to fight. I was just sad and angry, and wanted to shout into the wind how disapointed I was. I'll edit my work closer next time.

love,
Lucho

P.S.
     My book was not rejected for bad spelling, grammer, or punctuation. In case any of you wise guys out there were thinking that. 

My dreams of being a writer have stopped

    I have been an amateur writer for about 20 years now. I’m 45. And for almost everyday of those 20 years I have fallen asleep to my book signings, movie debuts, and of course my Oscars for my adaptation of my best-selling novels. Occasionally I’d dream about Hawaii or being a billionaire, but famous fiction writer was my favorite. I noticed the other night that I do not do that anymore. I don’t close my eyes and want to see me lecturing at a University anymore; wowing MFAs with hilarious stories of my life as a best-selling author.
     I don’t want to think about that anymore, because it’s not going to happen. I’m going to publish my book. I'm working on a Press Release and bulding a Web site right now. And if I’m lucky I’ll make sme good money (yay). But I just don’t see the point of dreaming about multi-city book signings anymore when there are better thing to dream about, like white shark diving and being a Ninja warrior.  
     I’m still in shock at how all the literary agents from NYC have refused to represent my book, Confessions of an Internet Pornographer. You’d think that with a title like that it would be an easy sell. Oh sure they said it was well written, had a lot of heart and was very funny. But it lacks the sophistication, the complexity of a best seller, it must. I am also standing on a literary milk carton not a platform. I now know what it takes to be a proffessional writer an I’m beginning to doubt if I want to work this hard and risk so much disapoinment anymore. Fairies don’t exist and wishes on stars don’t come true. I’ve been writing this book for 9 years and it has been like pushing a stone up a hill. A big fat, heavy-ass stone. Why should I want to dream of that?  
       I was working on a great story entitled The Witch of the Cross Bronx Expressway. But I there’s better things to do. I also thought of a cool story (in a literary fiction kind of way) about a young girl who is constantly in and out of the hospital. I could explore her life and how a person falls in love when they’re in and out of the hospital alot. But I’m playing Crisis 2 on the PlayStation 2. It’s awesome! Imagine playing Modern Warfare 2 but you can become invisible!
     I’m also watching much more TV. That’s right, I said it. I’d rather watch TV than write! Why not? Writing leads to disappointment, and reality, and eye opening sadness. The TV has never let me down. In the big blue ocean of life, the TV is my dive buddy.   
    I plan to keep ignoring the mental scenes I'm seeing from my next novel I call Mr. Nurse. A book about being a reluctant male nurse in an intense female profession. I don’t want to think about a novel that may never exist.
     Maybe if I get published in Glimmer Train magazine I’ll feel better. By the way, here’s a look at a draft of my Press Release. What do you think?
Love,
Lucho

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Contact Person:
Telephone Number:
Email Address: l
Web site address:

Bronx taxi driver makes millions in online porn!
In the novel entitled Confessions of an Internet Pornographer, written by debut author Lucho Salazar.  Available at Amazon .com September 29, 2011.

September 29, 2011 – The book tells the tales of one family’s crazy adventures while running a XXX voyeur Web site, named Fantasiesonline.com. It was place dedicated to the secret romantic, risqué, and XXX fantasies of its members. It is the story of how a cop, a cab driver, and two housewives transformed themselves into XXX online millionaires. The author is the former creator and Webmaster of Fantasiesonline.com, and the book was inspired by real events.

For additional information or a sample copy, Contact:
Telephone Number:
Email Address:
Web site address:
Available September 2011, in paperback and e-book, on Amazon.com

Saturday, April 16, 2011

I don't think my novel's getting published :(

Hi everyone,
     It has now been almost 3 months since I optimistically sent my novel, Confessions of an Internet Pornographer to the 8 NY literary agents I met at the WD writer’s Conference in January. 5 out of 8 have sent rejections.
     I have begun to feel a disturbance in The Force; as if the other 3 agents will also be rejecting my book. It’s been called funny, eloquent, and full of heart, but apparently that’s not enough to get published. It has no murder in it, no drug cartels, no infidelity, any elephants or CIA agents. Thus it will never sell.
     Luckkily I started reading the book Publicize Your Book: An Insider's Guide to Getting Your Book the Attention It Deserves, which I mention in my last post. I’m gonna need it now more than ever. I knew I’d be working hard promoting the book even if it got picked up by a publishing house, but now the whole thing falls on me, wich sucks. I’m terrified of screwing it up. I was hoping a publisher would provide Confessions of an Internet Pornographer with professional media people who could open doors. But life has other plans.
    I’ve been pretty bummed out my book lately. Luckily I checked Glimmer Train Press, and my short story Born Again is still under consideration.  
     I’ve decided not to let rejection stop me and so I’ve been learning about self-publishing. I will be sharing what I learn with you in future posts. I found a great FREE Web site creation site named Weebly.com. I’m even making T-shirts for my book FREE, at Cafepress.com. I’ll post more about them later.
     I love my book and I will not stop until I hear from the public. If they hate it, I will be crushed and I'll stop working on Confessions forever. But if they love it I will be vindicated. As I edit my novel for the 22nd time, I still love the story and the characters. And I think others will love it too. It may not be complex enough like one of the agents wrote, but it rings true to me. It is what would have happened if Fantasiesonline, the Web site my family and I created, had succeeded.
      I’m thinking of expanding some off the chapters and making the book even sexier. Apparently having a book describing the making of a porn movie and an orgy at sea are not enough. Maybe another orgy? The scene was fun to write because it’s difficult to write about sex and not make it sound like cheap drug store porn. I liked the challenge.
Here is my plan for world publishing domination.
1.      Edit book again
2.      Find a book cover photo (working on this already)
3.      Research who to send it to (Book Clubs, Reading groups etc.)
4.      Decide “Who is my audience? 30 to 60 year old men and women?
5.      Prepare a press release and press letter after deciding what media outlets are best for my book.  
6.      Build a Web site
7.      Build Web site store
8.      Prepare my key words and Search Engine material
9.      Publish Web site
10.  Publish Book
11.  Sleep
    
     That’s everything I need to do just to publish this fucking book myself. If anyone can think of anything else please let me know. But that’s just to publish the book. After publication the work begins on advertising, marketing everything. And that’s without book tours, which I doubt I’ll get a chance to do.
     Self-publishing is my only option. I really don’t see any other way. I just can’t give up on my novel. I need to try everything to put it in people’s hands, only then will I be at peace and move on, even if it fails miserably.
     Who would have though having a book entitled, Confessions of an Internet pornographer would be so hard to sell. As I write into the wind, I ask it, and all of you to wish me luck.  

Love
Lucho